In my Sociology class, we had to write every hurtful word we’ve ever been called on a sticky note and then stick it to our body. We then went around and took them off of each other. Most of us in tears…this is the aftermath.
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In the days after Thanksgiving, i traded emails with my friend David McKenna. He shared that 2012 had been the hardest year of his life. i told him i was sorry for the weight of those words, and we agreed to try to spend some time together soon. Tragically, David was killed in a car accident two weeks ago. In the hours following his death, i learned something that has stayed with me. i learned that David’s final days were hopeful. He was excited about 2013. For some reason, David believed that the year ahead could be different than the one behind. He believed that things could be new. This blog is dedicated to the curious hope that lived inside my friend.
i wrote the words below one year ago, wrestling with New Year’s. While i’m proud of what i wrote, it was the words that came in response that meant the most. This blog asks questions and it was amazing to see people answer the questions. Especially on twitter, people from around the world shared their thoughts and feelings for the new year, what they wanted to leave behind and what they wanted to find. It was a blog that grew into something more and i’m posting it here and now in hopes that you might join the conversation.
The ball drops and fireworks. Resolutions are made. People scream and people kiss and is it possible to change? Is it really truly possible to leave the past behind?
Welcome to Midnight.
Another year comes to a close. Another year begins. With a moment in between. Why the fuss? Why the fame and fireworks? Is it more than hype? More than something else to sell us? Is there something to this holiday? Something true inside it? Because isn’t there something inside us that aches for change… Dreams it to be possible… To let go. To hold on. To leave it behind. To start again. To be new. Is it possible?
If you’re reading this, if there’s air in your lungs, then you’re alive today tonight right now. And who can know how long we have here… And is it a gift? Was it ever a gift? Did that ever feel true or could that one day feel true? Are there things to fight to live for? Moments and people… Weddings and children and all your different dreams… Love… Is your life more than just your own? And are there broken things you were made to fight to fix? Broken families, broken friends… Injustice. Will you move for things that matter?
Wouldn’t it be nice if change took just a moment? Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that easy? Midnight and we’re new. Midnight and the past erased. Midnight and we’re free.
It seems to come slow. It seems to be a surgery. Forgiveness. Healing. Sobriety. Letting go. Starting over. It seems to happen slowly over time. One day at a time, the choice made new each morning. Will you fight? Will you fight to be healthy? Will you fight to be free? Will you fight for your story? Will you fight to get the help you need?
Change takes more than a moment, but maybe there’s also something to this celebration of a moment, something to the way it speaks to us, something to the way we fear it, and dream it to be true. Maybe it’s the most honest moment of the year.